7th of December 2021.
The day of my Gender Identity Clinic appointment. It's been a six month wait and slightly longer. These six months have been full of ups and downs - new friends, new discoveries, tons of baby steps to be the girl I was meant to be. It felt like forever, and yet I was finally there. My turn at GIC.
By this point I've been on HRT for about six months too (although I like to count it as five months since the first month of spiro did nothing for me). I had nothing to be nervous about, yet my heart was pounding out of my chest and I was shaking. I was just anxious to finally be myself, and to let the world see me for who I am.
Upon arriving to the hospital and queuing for the lift, a complete stranger (well, the lift guard) asked me; "係咪上呀小姐", - side note, I can't change the font here haha - the equivalent of 'excuse me, Miss, are you going upwards?". I was dumbstruck, and had no idea she was referring to me. Until I turned around and there was no one else there. I had been called Miss for the first time in my life.
I had to let that sink in a little while I shuffled into the lift. Miss. For the first time. Prior to this journey I never imagined that to be possible. Even starting this journey I thought it'd be years before someone would gender me female. But somehow, some way, it happened. I was so giddy I could cry :')
But it didn't end there. After a long wait at GIC I finally got to see the psychiatrist - and while going through my transition history she asked what injections I was having. I was confused, and told her I was on oral estrogen and CPA. Then she was confused - only to remember that I was transitioning from male-to-female. Apparently she thought I looked/passed as female and mentally lapsed hahaaaa ~ she thought I was a first consult and transitioning from female-to-male. A bit of an awkward scenario, but double affirmation. She also said my voice passed too ;-;
Gosh, just so many emotions. On most days I still don't have the self-confidence, and on most mornings I still can't see the girl in me. But it's getting better. Day by day she's appearing more and more. Again - "Miss" for the first time in my life.
I can't wait to see where this journey takes me next. More baby steps. Next stop - Public Endocrine (December 16th 2022). Maybe by then I'll be a completely different woman :)
~ Macy/Hearth.
Image Credit to my amazing friend and brother @lauujai on Instagram :) He's a freelance illustrator and all-around amazing human being. Please hire him! XD
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