It was during my Year 5 final exams in medical school when my dysphoria finally started to break me. It was crippling in the most literal sense. I couldn't study, work, focus. Dysphoria consumed me, and it was the only thing I could think of for the majority of my waking hours.
I managed to pass those exams, luckily. Story of my medical career...a story of barely passing and surviving. But...I knew I had to do something about the dysphoria. I could no longer bury it, no longer ignore it. Doing so in the past had only led up to it biting me back, stronger than ever.
And so I did...coincidentally, around the same time, my girlfriend had sent me this interview done by Apple Daily; an interview of two transgender individuals - one who was an established doctor, and one who was a medical student. My classmate. What a small world...The things they said resonated with me so much - and they were such an inspiration to me. They gave me the final push of courage to start upon the path to finally be...myself. To be who I was meant to be.
It still took a lot of courage to even make the call to the psychiatrist I wanted to see. I found him, incidentally by searching through related trans-friendly doctors. The Quarks HK group was also instrumental to this endeavor. I don't think I would've successfully made this step without their acceptance, their friendliness, their hard work in compiling all relevant resources - just to help trans-individuals in our society.
Yeah...shamefully, it actually took a whole week to muster up the courage to make that appointment phone-call. But, I did it. That's what counts, right? I went to that first appointment, nervous as can be, holding my girlfriend's hand tightly.
"Hello! How can I help you today?"
"...I'd like to talk about gender."
~ Macy/Hearth
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